Life is a beautiful thing. It can also be dark, lonely, and unkind. So much so, that for some, the beauty of life feels unattainable, and hopelessness can overshadow the light.
September is Suicide Prevention Month. This post provides an overview of the pervasiveness of suicide in our society, and suggests an increased focus on the protective factors of love, value, and connection in our efforts to prevent suicide.
The statistics on suicide are sobering; the realities, heart-wrenching. Overall, it is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, but the 2nd leading cause of death for those aged 10 – 34. Since 2006, the suicide rate has increased every year through 2019. Interestingly, however, in 2020 – the year of the pandemic – the rate of suicide decreased by about 5%.
While this decrease is a good sign, on the macro level, suicide remains a serious public health problem. On the micro level, it can be devastating to friends and loved ones left to manage and make sense of such a painful loss.
If a primary objective is to prevent suicide, it is helpful to know the risk factors – the conditions that make it more likely that a person will think about, attempt, or die by suicide. Risk factors for suicide include the following:
• Family history of suicide
• Substance abuse
• Mood disorders (i.e. depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder)
• Significant losses or traumatic events
• Chronic pain or ongoing physical illness
• Previous attempts
(For an expanded list of risk factors, visit http://www.SuicidePreventionLifeline.org)
In addition to risk factors, it is also helpful to be familiar with common warning signs, which may highlight an immediate risk of suicide:
Making comments about feeling hopeless, helpless, or worthless
Increased alcohol/substance abuse
Increase in reckless, risky behavior
Frequent talk of death, dying, suicide, or having no reason/purpose for living
Withdrawal from family, friends
(For an expanded list of warning signs, visit http://www.SuicidePreventionLifeline.org)
One way to combat the risk factors and warning signs of suicide is to bolster the protective factors – those characteristics that make it less likely someone will contemplate or attempt suicide. Protective factors include having access to effective mental health care, developing healthy problem-solving skills, and having strong connections with family, friends, providers, community, etc.
This last protective factor – strong connections – really stood out for me. It is very intuitive, meaning that “having strong social connections can be a deterrent to suicidality” makes sense. But it is also stood out because it falls in-line with my own contemplations as a therapist.
Not long ago, I reflected on my career over the last 25 years, intending to highlight common themes among the hundreds of clients I’ve been honored to work with. Now, this isn’t perfect science, but I recognized that regardless of the presenting problems, or the stated objectives, the vast majority of clients are yearning to FEEL deeply loved, highly valued, and securely connected. That they matter.
The truth is that most of these clients ARE loved, valued, and connected. But for one reason or another, they have struggled to FEEL those things. THEIR work would include challenging their own doubts and fears, and learning to trust in others close to them more fully. OUR work – those of us accepting the call to combat the darkness of suicide – entails ongoing efforts to promote healthy connection. It involves authenticity in our approach, and intentional, meaningful interactions that help dissipate the dark clouds of despair, and ignite a brightness of hope.
So, as we look for ways we can help in the fight against suicide, perhaps this is a good place to start. Search for opportunities to express love and kindness to others. Take the time to listen, ask questions, learn about, and appreciate the uniqueness of those close to you, and even those who are not so close. Smile, say hello. Reach out, include, accept, and welcome others into your tribe, clan, group, team, family, or whatever you want to call your circle of people, and plant the roots of belonging. These are the efforts that can help others BE and FEEL deeply loved, highly valued, and securely connected.
And those are powerful protective factors.
For more information on suicide prevention, please visit http://www.SuicidePreventionLifeline.org
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