Joel Wallis, CSW – former Primary Therapist @ STRīV
The first of the four core values at STRīV is Resilience. We know that resilience is important in not only helping our young adults push through their challenges, but is important for everyone to develop as we face the ups and downs of daily life. While resilience can be defined many ways, I think the definition that captures the true essence of resilience is the ability to face challenges and recover from those challenges effectively.
But why is this important? It is no secret that challenges are part of the human condition – some are personal that we face alone, while others have a broader reach, affecting our families, schools, cities, nation, or the world at large. The global COVID-19 pandemic, as well as our nation’s social justice challenges are two examples of enormous challenges we are currently facing. Resilience, among other things, may be a key to helping us to navigate these challenges and grow from them.
So how do we develop resilience?
Dr. Gregory Eells from Cornell University teaches one way we can develop resilience. He calls it the SAVES method:
S – Social Connection. We are social creatures by nature and as we turn to others for support during difficult times it increases our capacity to overcome those challenges.
A – Attitude. Developing and having a positive attitude are key in overcoming challenges. As we work to allow positive experiences to shine brighter in our mind than dark moments, we build the skill to overcome negativity, even in difficult times.
V – Values. Identifying and developing meaning and purpose help us to recognize the light at the end of the dark tunnel that challenges represent. One of the best examples of this is Victor Frankel and his time in the concentration camps, he developed meaning and purpose in helping his ‘patients’ and that helped him to overcome horrific circumstances.
E – Emotional Acceptance. Dr. Eells teaches that rather than fighting against our emotions, and therefore creating dissonance within ourselves, if we can accept our emotions we have a greater chance of working through them in a healthy way.
S – Silliness (Humor). (This is probably my favorite). We need to take time to laugh, especially during the hard moments. Take a moment to see the humor in a negative situation or to allow yourself to be silly. Laughter can relieve pain, increase happiness and bring balance back to our lives.
My hope is that during these difficult times we can take daily moments to build and practice resilience. Let’s reach out and stay connected, despite the difficulties of the day. Look for the joy, the light, or the good around us. Recognize the potential meanings, or what we can learn about ourselves in challenging times. Allow ourselves to experience the wide range of human emotions, and recognize them as such (feelings), rather than be driven by them. And finally, laugh a little. Or a lot. There is a lot of learning, and healing, through laughter and silliness.
As we strive to do these things, we will not only overcome difficult situations, we will grow and learn from them, building resilience as we carry on.
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